


Pretty in Pink

by CheekyBeckett (SheppardMcKay)



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Crack, Friendship, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-04-30
Updated: 2012-04-30
Packaged: 2017-11-04 15:11:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,407
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/395232
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SheppardMcKay/pseuds/CheekyBeckett
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sheppard the Action Figure travels in style. McKay is merciless and amused.<br/>My tribute to VanCon 2012 and all the dedicated (crazy) fans.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Pretty in Pink

**Author's Note:**

> Crack fic inspired by a photo and a conversation with Grace about her McKay figure.  
> See end notes for photo.
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own Stargate or it's characters. I merely worship from afar.

There was a sizeable crowd at the check-in table in the main hall of the hotel. Dozens of people milled about with excited looks on their faces and their arms bound in colorful wristbands. John enjoyed looking at them.  He could appreciate the aesthetic value of a nice wristband.

He shifted his postion inside his owner's pocket to get a better view. They'd traveled pretty far and it had taken what felt like forever to get here. Now they'd finally arrived he didn't want to miss a moment of this.

He stumbled and slipped a little as his owner turned suddenly and embraced someone behind them who'd called their name. The pocket he was riding in bumped up against the pocket of his owner's friend and he came face to face with another figure. It was McKay.

"Rodney!" He exclaimed. "How are ya, buddy? I didn't expect to see you here." 

"Sheppard," McKay answered, looking him up and down. "What do you mean you didn't expect to see me? Please. There's probably a dozen of me floating around in here. Look at these people." He gestured towards the room at large, encompassing the large crowd, many wearing T-shirts or carrying books and photos, all bearing their likenesses. 

"I meant YOU you, McKay. I thought you guys weren't coming."  He leaned casually inside his comfy pocket. 

"Oh, she got the time off work after all from that dunderheaded employer of hers so she got tickets online and here we are."

Rodney didn't sound overly enthused. Personally, he preferred his nice quiet shelf above the computer in his owner's study. Nobody bothered him there except maybe that stupid wind-up Dalek toy that would go off without warning sometimes but he could usually just shove it off the shelf if it came at him. Thank goodness it didn't have a voice feature. If that thing had hollered "Exterminate!" at him every time it woke up he would have dismantled it and hid the pieces long ago.

Sheppard smirked. Same old cranky Rodney. It was good to see him.

"You guys just get here? We got in this morning. Could have done early registration and avoided this mess but no, she decided we needed to go sightseeing instead. It was freezing out there." Rodney shuddered. He'd have been much happier if they'd done early registration and then gone to sit in a nice warm Starbucks where he could sit back in comfort and sniff the coffee in the air.

"McKay," John admonished his friend, "You're from here. Shouldn't you be used to it?" 

Rodney gave him a look like he was a few crystals shy of an operational Jumper. "I'm from an assembly plant in Newark or Taiwan or wherever it was we came from." He blew out an irritated breath. 

Sheppard loved getting him all wound up. 

"What about you guys?" asked Rodney. 

John swayed a little as his owner shifted from foot to foot. It had been a long day of standing in lines. At the airport, the cab stand, now the hotel. 

"We just got here. The line to check in for the rooms was even longer than this so we headed over here first. We left our bags over there." John pointed to a corner of the hall where several bags of attendees had been lined up.

John realized his mistake too late. Rodney had followed his pointing and zeroed in on the bags in question. There was nothing wrong with the large black roller suitcase with the flight tags. No, it was what was attached to the handle that was the problem. A miniature hot pink toy suitcase.

John had forgotten. He steeled himself for what was coming.

Rodney's features rolled from confused to incredulous and then finally to delight. Not good.

" _That_? Is that your luggage, Sheppard?!"

"Shut-up, Rodney."  He was not defensive. There was absolutely nothing wrong with his suitcase.

"That pink monstrosity? The neon nightmare? That's yours?"

"Shut- _up_ , Rodney." 

"Oh, I'm sorry Sheppard. Am I insulting your Make-Me-Pretty baggage?"

"McKay..." Now he might be getting a little mad.

"No,no, it's fine." Rodney snickered. "So, what did you have to do for Stewardess Bimbo Barbie to be able to borrow that? Paint her nails? Braid her hair?"

He nearly doubled over in glee. "Oh, I know, you hemmed her evening gown. Or, oh! You used the EZ Bake oven and made her cupcakes!" He laughed so hard he dropped his little ZPM that he'd been holding.

John had known if he met another action figure before they got to their room that he'd be in for it. He'd forgotten about it in all the excitement. Figures it had to be McKay who saw it.

"You're a real riot, McKay. Just drop it, ok?" He crossed his arms and attempted to quell his friend with a commanding glare.

Rodney gasped in laughter. "No, no, I'm sorry, but...you know, didn't she have one with glitter?"  He was practically howling with mirth now as he came out with his last zinger.

"Couldn't you have borrowed Baby Burps Alot's diaper bag? Might have been less obvious!" He snorted loudly and actually fell over in his pocket.

John was so very, very, very ticked off. What he really wanted was to throw something at Rodney but all he had was his tiny gun, which there was no way he was parting with, or the stray Tic-Tac at his feet. He didn't think he could throw the breath mint far enough to bean Rodney on the head or he might have done it. 

It wasn't his fault he didn't come packaged with a nice black duffle or something. He was grateful his owner had the forethought to have something to keep his extra accessories safe inside. And if the case happened to have come from Barbie, who was a very nice lady by the way, and was not exactly an ideal color for a soldier, then so what?  

He was very relieved though that Rodney didn't know there was also a tiny vial of baby oil inside the case that his owner used to keep his molded hair bright and shiny looking. His goose really would have been cooked then.

Giggles still emanated from inside the pocket holding Rodney as it rustled convulsively. Finally, McKay's traitorous head popped back up as he got back to his feet. 

"Done enjoying yourself, McKay?" 

"Not remotely, Colonel. I'm sure I'll have more brilliant taunts for you by the Dessert Party tonight but I'll give you a rest til then."  

"You're a real pal, McKay," John said sourly.

"Oh come on, Sheppard. If I had showed up with that blighted bubblegum baggage you would never have let me hear the end of it either. You still give me grief for that little incident two years ago." 

John grinned. That was true. They'd all been at a Con in Phoenix. It had a huge dealer's room and their owners were looking over a table of action figures. Rodney had been having a nap in his owner's backpack when he was accidentally dumped onto the table as she pulled out her wallet. He woke up and found he'd landed on a sea of Wraith drones on clearance. His high pitched girly scream had been so loud and so long John had heard it inside his owner's purse. Luckily, the frequency on which they spoke was too low for humans to detect. But, yeah. He still liked to rib Rodney about that now and then.

"Fine, I'll never bring that up again."

"Nice try but I don't think so. This is too good to pass up. I am going to give you such grief over this. Plan your weekend accordingly."

John blew out a breath. This put a damper on things. Unless...

The Dessert Party. Their owner's would probably lay them on the table. He could lure McKay towards the ice cream for a taste and then attempt to drown him in it. 

He might even get another freakish scream out of him and they'd be back on even footing again. At the very least he'd have a very sticky and hopping mad McKay on his hands and that was always hilarious. 

He'd let Rodney enjoy his victory while he could.

He would wait. 

Maybe next time there'd be a Ken doll he could borrow from. At least it wouldn't be pink. 

He hoped.

**Author's Note:**

> Story first inspired by[ this photo ](http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=372073046169303&set=a.372072636169344.86398.188836814492928&type=3)from John Sheppard/Joe Flanigan Thunk Sisters and in honor of VanCon 2012.


End file.
